


Leave Me Be

by Mortwinbeauty



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Drinking, Drugs, M/M, Post Fall, mormor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-02
Updated: 2015-06-02
Packaged: 2018-04-02 14:23:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4063213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mortwinbeauty/pseuds/Mortwinbeauty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When will Jim leave him alone?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Leave Me Be

The first time it happened, Sebastian was sliding off of the sofa, a mostly empty bottle of scotch dangling from his large hand.

“I honestly thought you would take better care of yourself” Sebastian’s glassy eyes swiveled to the side and he took in the silhouette of Jim as he stepped out of the shadows

“I--Boss?” He slurred and blinked rapidly, this was impossible he had watched--

“Perhaps if you weren't so drunk you could finish your sentences, I mean, honestly, Moran. When was the last time you shaved?” Sebastian absently ran a hand over his scruffy cheek and looked down for a moment, a small smile spreading across his lips

“It’s been a while yea, Boss, I haven’t had any stuffy parties--” He looked up and paused. Jim was gone. He stood and lurched to where the figure had been letting out a rough yell, punching the wall. He spent the rest of the day and night destroying his flat, looking for the man.

The next time Jim appeared Sebastian was roughly thrusting into a prostitute.

“Back to this are we?” Jim purred, cocking his head and stretching a leg out from where he was perched on the headboard.

“I never thought I’d see the day when I would find you deep inside of another whore. You did promise me, are you even using protection, Tiger? Such nasty things these creatures carry.” Sebastian snarled as a lilting giggle bounced around his head and he fisted his hand in the prostitutes hair, pulling hard.

“Shut the fuck up!” He screamed, but the only reply was a high pitched shriek as he pulled a chuck of hair out of the woman’s head. 

It continued on like that, for months. The more Sebastian fucked himself up the more Jim appeared so he found himself throwing caution to the wind and doing anything he could. He delved back into the underbelly of London, fighting rings, drugs, more drinking, anything and everything he could to see Jim. But as Sebastian got worse, so did the visions, snarling and spitting cruel words into Sebastian’s face, leading to Sebastian throwing half empty bottles and shooting at the hallucinations. 

Sebastian eventually became less dependent on the Jim hallucinations and more dependent on the rushes he got from his actions. Jim never quite left him alone, unless he attacked the vision. It never failed to make the vision go away and so it became normal. The moment Jim appeared a knife would be thrown, or a gun would be fired and he would be left to his numb thoughts and restless body.

Eventually the vision stopped happening completely and Sebastian couldn't find it in himself to do much of anything. The vision was cruel but so was Jim at times, the vision was something to remind him and now Sebastian was alone. 

The drink had lost his appeal but he still sat, slumped against the wall, toying with a gun and taking periodical shots of vodka. Maybe he should just take care of himself, it would be a better death than slowly fading away from his chosen lifestyle.

“Sebastian.” He looked up through bleary eyes at his front door, wide open with a lithe figure standing there.

“I’m home” Sebastian snorted bitterly. 

“No you’re not..you’re never home and you’ll never be home again.” He gave off a small laugh and shook his head “And you know what? I think I've come to accept that..” Jim stepped in and tilted his head to the side 

“Look at me, Moran. I am here” Sebastian shook his head and bent his neck, cradling his head and rocking gently, finger on the trigger. 

“You’re here, you’re there. You've been everywhere Jim and I think that it’s finally time to for you to leave.” He stilled and looked up, narrowing his eyes, standing and using the wall for support “I think it’s time for you to stay gone..” He raised the gun and laughed as Jim’s face took on a horrified look. He steadied his hand and quickly pulled the trigger, laughing manically as the body hit the ground.

When Sebastian opened his eyes, the body was still there. That wasn't right. The hallucinations always left, drifted off without a trace. Sebastian stepped closer, there was blood, lots of blood, spreading across the tile in the doorway and seeping onto the concrete outside. The visions had never bled, there had always been no indication that Jim was ever there. There was a blood. There was a body. This wasn't right!

“Oh god..what have I done?”


End file.
